Mom, my dear brothers and sister, please borrow me that strength, teach me how did u all face this world. I just wanna live for ur expectation, i will share my soul if it can make it born to life. What should i do, i just want to focus on makin it comes true. How do i do it? How do i do forgeting the other things that unbound by blood beside? How do i kill desires other than fulfilling ur expectation.
Ive told God, my Allah, everything but still i need some more room, i need to be refreshed and boosted, help me, but i dont know what kind of help i wanna ask u too. Im too young they said, but i want a hundred years of life's skill, experience and strenght.
There were too many thing about to explode in my head, expectation and dream. And damn it, i almost out of fuel, this tiny body, this weak heart, this fragile brain, what can i do? What can i do?
Memory of someone i know yesterday, the person who unbound by blood. Its ruin me. Please forgive me, please, please, help me, to come back to think about u all. Please teach me about facing the life, please give me the spirit and the strenghth.
I thought that i give him a little piece of my heart but i find out the mossing piece is bigger.
Now its stop my brain, how do i catch my target? How do i pursue the arrow of future with my bleeding heart.
I know if i tell u all u might be mad at me, sad to know that i could be this stupid
Dear my dearest people, im not as strong as u all think iam, im sorry i just pretending so u all dont need to feel worry about me
If i can just see how u all survive in this pathetic life, if i can just replicate ur streght, power and lesson of life
I cant cry infront of u all, too afraid to show how weak iam and too afraid to broke ur expectation
God show me how to move on
If i can sacrifice my rest life just to fulfill ur expectation i will do it happily since i dont dream a long life time if i just become a shame an dissapointment.
If God wish to exchange some years of my life with ur happiness and fulfilling ur expectation, i will happily do, because all my life purpose is pursuing the target to make u all proud and happy for having me.
What can i do? What can i do? The time is about to hit me on the road, this semester is about to end.
Dear my dearest people bounded by blood,
Tell me,
What can i do,
What can i do?
:'(
